Planning around a grandparent who does the weekday pickup

Author : All around ABA | Published On : 26 Oct 2026

In a lot of Naperville, Aurora and Chicago-area families, Grandma or Grandpa does the school pickup. They handle snack time, homework and the hours before parents get home from work. When a child starts ABA, that grandparent is often there for more sessions than either parent.

So it makes sense to plan around them.

Why the grandparent matters

ABA works best when the adults around a child use the same approach. If a technician is teaching your child to ask for a break with a card, and Grandpa hands over the tablet the second a meltdown starts, your child gets two different messages.

That's not anyone's fault. It just means Grandpa needs to be part of the plan.

There's research behind involving caregivers. The 2020 evidence-based practices review (PDF) from the National Clearinghouse on Autism Evidence and Practice lists parent-implemented intervention among the practices with strong evidence. Grandparents who are daily caregivers can learn the same strategies.

Talk to your provider early

At intake, tell the provider who's home during session times. Ask:

• Can our grandparent attend parent training sessions?

• Do we need to sign anything so the team can talk with them?

• Can training happen when they're there, as well as when we are?

Most providers will say yes. You may need to sign a release so the team can share information with someone other than a parent.

Keep it simple for them

Some grandparents jump right in. Others feel nervous or worried about doing something wrong. Both are normal.

Ask the supervising clinician to start with one or two strategies, not ten. Something like "wait three seconds before helping" or "use first-then language." Write them on a card on the fridge. Large print helps. So does a quick demonstration from the technician, followed by Grandma trying it while the technician watches.

Respect their style

Grandparents have raised children before, and they may have strong opinions. That can be a strength. Ask them what they've noticed about your child. They often see things parents miss.

Where their habits clash with the plan, have the clinician explain why. It lands better coming from the professional than from you.

Share the schedule

Give the grandparent a simple weekly schedule: session days, times, the technician's name, and who to call if something comes up. Put it somewhere they'll see it.

If the technician is running late or cancels, make sure the provider has the grandparent's number too.

Watch for burnout

Picking up a child, managing snack time and sitting in on sessions every weekday is a lot, especially for an older caregiver. Check in. Ask what's hard. If they need a day off, plan for it.

A tired grandparent who's still showing up deserves a thank-you and maybe a lighter Friday.

Handle the hard conversations kindly

Sometimes a grandparent doesn't believe in therapy, or thinks the child "will grow out of it." Pushing harder rarely works. Inviting them to watch a session, or to meet the clinician, often does more than any argument.

Make the handoff smooth

When you get home, take two minutes with the grandparent. What happened in the session? Anything new? Anything to practice tonight? That short handoff keeps everyone on the same page.

For Naperville families

If your family is in Naperville and weighing in-home options that can involve grandparents, it helps to see how programs are set up. You can read more about in home aba therapy in naperville to see what that looks like.

This week, ask Grandma or Grandpa one question: what's the hardest part of the afternoon? Bring the answer to your next session.